by Laura Crum
First
of all, Happy Mother’s Day to everyone--to those with horse, dog, cat, other
critter kids, as well as those with human kids. I used to resent Mother’s Day
before I had a child—I felt as if I were somehow being excluded from this role
as “mother,” even though I loved and cared for all my animal kids. So I want to
acknowledge that everybody with a dependent creature is a mom. Happy Mother’s
Day to you all.
I
have been thinking about what it means to be a good “mom” to a horse. I love my
horses. I think a lot of us who read this blog love our horses. And when you
love your horses, you don’t get rid of them when their useful life as a riding
horse is over. No, you retire them and take care of them as long as they can be
reasonably comfortable as pasture pets. And when their life is no longer any
pleasure to them, you have them humanely put down. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
In
theory it IS simple. In practice, not quite that simple. Let us take my
particular situation. I have owned horses all my life. Twenty years ago I was
able to buy a small horse property (actually I bought raw land and slowly built
a horse property—but that story has been told before). The maximum number of
horses that I can keep here is five. And not only do I have my horses, but my
longtime friend, Wally, boards his horse (s) with me.
Over
the years there have been times that between Wally and me, we owned a dozen
horses. Our using horses, our retired horses, rescued horses, and young horses
we were training. It was a real juggling act to find places to put all of them.
For many years our retired/rescued horses were turned out in a pasture, where
either a friend or the pasture owner looked at them every day. When we weren’t
training them, we turned the young horses out, too. And this worked pretty well
for awhile.
But
our retired/rescued group got older. They all needed more care. Some of them
were no longer thriving in the pasture, though they had been happy there for
many years. And Wally and I got older, too. Neither one of us wanted to ride
young horses any more. And neither one of us wanted to be constantly running
out to the pasture to try and give adequate care to the old horse herd—on top
of taking good care of the horses here at my property. So we made some tough
choices a couple of years ago.
We
found good, happy homes for a couple of the younger horses that were ridable
(where they are still happy today). We euthanised two of the older horses that
were steadily failing. We brought my oldest horse (Gunner) home to live with my
recently retired horse, Plumber. This gave me five horses at home—my two
retired horses, my riding horse (Sunny), my son’s horse (Henry), and Wally’s
horse (Twister). Sounds simple, right?
In
some ways it IS simple. I can take good care of the horses here at my home.
They get fed three times a day—a mix of alfalfa and grass hay. The ones that
need more alfalfa get that, and the ones that need more grass hay get that,
too. Each horse is kept in a large (averaging 50 feet by 250 feet) paddock
where they can be fed exactly what they need. They hang together under the oak
trees and interact as a herd, but the old horses are safe from being bullied,
and each horse is carefully fed what that horse specifically requires. Gunner gets
lots of equine senior and free choice hay and is thriving at 33 years old. In
green grass season the horses get turned out to graze, in the rainy season they
are blanketed if needed and have run in sheds, in fly season they get fly spray
and fly masks..etc as needed. I look at them many times a day and can catch
problems very quickly. I can do all this because they are living here with me.
So yes, in some ways, it is simple.
Sunny
grazing in the riding ring.
Henry
climbing the steps to the back porch.
The
problem? Well, the problem is that the youngest horse on the place is Twister,
who is 17. Sunny is somewhere between 15 and 20 (no papers/weird teeth) and I
just ballpark him as the same age as Twister. So I have two 17 year old horses,
two that are about 25 (Henry and Plumber) and one that is 33. They are all
doing great. But it doesn’t take a horse expert or a mathematician to tell me
(or you) what is going to happen next.
If
I am committed to giving these five horses the best care I can for the rest of
their lives (which I am), sometime in the next five years or so, I am apt to
have five retired horses to care for and nowhere to put a useful riding horse.
What’s a good horse mom to do?
The
option of a good retirement home isn’t viable for me. Every truly good
retirement home I have ever heard of (and there are none that I know of near
me) costs a LOT more per month than I can afford. I consider myself comfortably
middle class, but it would be next to impossible for me to afford board for more
than one horse in this part of the world. The option of keeping the horses in
someone else’s pasture—or my own pasture (3 hours away)? Well, I’ve done that.
And I have to say that even though the people who looked at my horses did their
best, the horses got glanced at once every 24 hours, if that. The pastures were
big and if the horses weren’t in sight of the driveway, no one was going to
hike out to find them. Without being paid big bucks, no one was going to put
blankets or fly spray on these horses or give them their daily ration of senior
food (separating them from the herd to do so), or painkillers that they might
need. I always worried that a colic or injury might not be caught for a couple
of days. I went out to do the chores as often as I could (in the pasture near
my home), but it was impossible for me to be there more than once a day. I just
felt that the level of care wasn’t really adequate, especially as the horses
got older.
So
I’m left with the fact that when my current five horses are all (possibly) too
old to ride, I’ll just be taking care of them—like a good horse mom. And the
truth is, I won’t really mind. I have done SO many things with these horses
over the years—competed at cutting and roping, ridden in the mountains and on
the beaches, taught my son to ride…etc. Every time I interact with my horses,
even to feed them, all these happy moments come back to me. Time past is
present along with time present. So, for me, taking care of my retired horses
is OK.
But…it
wouldn’t have been OK in my 20’s and 30’s. I wanted to compete and train—most
of all, I wanted to ride. Faced with this herd of old horses, I would be
looking anxiously to find good homes for some of them so that I could get a new
riding horse.
I’m
glad I don’t feel that way now. But I did feel that way once, and I understand
the feeling. I’m wondering how many other horse moms out there are looking at
an increasingly older horse herd and wondering what their options will be when
none of the herd is ridable. Any thoughts or solutions?
PS—Don’t forget that Linda Benson’s book Six Degrees of Lost
is on special for 99 cents until May 15th.
And the first two books in my mystery series, Cutter and
Hoofprints, are also on sale for 99 cents each. Click on the titles to find the
books.
Happy Mother’s Day! (Look what my husband gave me—a hanging
basket begonia he raised from crosses he made—ain’t it great?)
Got to agree with you on all points. Being a Mom is hard work and as I read t his morning in another blog, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon and you have to learn to not sweat the small stuff. Wish I could believe that MOST of what I "sweat" is small stuff, but when it comes to my four-leggeds, I'm not so sure.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the right thing by your "family," and the fact that you're blogging about whether or not you're making the right choices indicates you're doing what's right by them.
Love the begonia, too. GORGEOUS color!
I agree with the marathon part of being a mom for sure. And yeah, isn't the begonia a great color? So happy with my husband choosing this one for me. He calls it "salmon," which doesn't seem like a pretty enough name for such a lovely color. Thanks for your comment!
ReplyDeleteI've thought about this as well since we have 4 that are the 17-23 range. Fortunately we do have younger ones but it would be nice to not have so many to do chores for and I know we'll have quite a few old ones at the same time. I wouldn't mind re-homing to a good home but no one takes as good of care of your horses as you do and people aren't always as careful as you are if they have to sell. So I guess all of ours are lifers as well.
ReplyDeleteFJ Thomas--Sounds like you and I are on the same page(!)
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog, Being a horse mom can be tough, its the only spat of motherhood I know. You gotta do right by them because they've done right by us is how I've always felt.
ReplyDeleteL Williams--I totally second your sentiment. YES. We must do right by the horses who did right by us. I really wish every single horse owner in the whole world understood this.
ReplyDelete