Horse Lover, Owner, and Rampant Author
Good morning! How's your Sunday going? This isn't my regular day to post, but our darned fine administrator (Hi, Laura!) needed someone to fill in, so I said yes, then someone else said yes, then we all blinked, so here's something for you all to tune into until the next brilliant post.
I actually have something else to discuss on my next post, but I'm not quite ready to do it today, so I thought I'd give you a little snippet of my horse's memoir. He's a pretty good storyteller, even if he's lacking in typing skills.
BTW, "Uncle Snowy" in this story is a little grey pony who has been put into the paddock to teach Snoopy the yearling his manners.
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There were two goats in the pen next to us. They were girl goats, about half my size and brown, and had funny little tails that stuck straight up. I usually ignored them, since they were not very interesting. It’s not like they ran around and played. They spent most days standing in the corner and eating, or looking for food to eat.
One night, I lay down to sleep and somehow woke up in their pen. There was a space underneath the metal bars just big enough for my body and I guess I scooted around to the other side while I dreamed. I don’t really know how it happened, but I went to sleep in the pen with Uncle Snowy and woke up in the pen with the goats.
At first, they liked playing with me. They ran around the pen and I ran after them. Then they came over and sniffed my legs. That’s when I saw their little tails wiggling.
I couldn’t resist. I reached over and grabbed one goat’s tail in my teeth and lifted. Her back end came off the ground, so I shook her up and down. She started yelling. I let her go and grabbed the other goat’s tail. I shook her, too, then I dragged her up to the gate. She yelled even louder.
I dropped her and ran after the first one again. It was a fun game, chasing the goats and grabbing their tails. I couldn’t quite throw them, but I could shake them up and down and drag them around the pen.
One of the ranch men came running. He caught me and took me back to Uncle Snowy’s side of the pen. He wasn’t happy with me. Neither were the goats. Uncle Snowy wasn’t thrilled, either.
“You are a doofus,” he said. “Leave the goats alone.”
“But it was fun.”
“It wasn’t fun for the goats.” He shook his head, making his white mane wave in the hot sun. “Look, I’m a pony. I’ve lived my entire life being a pain in the butt. But I’m small, so they don’t get that mad at me. I get cute points. You’re six months old and already as big as me. No one will think you’re cute when you’re as big as a tractor, especially if you’re pulling pranks.”
I trotted a big circle around him. “But Uncle Snowy, fun is fun. Who cares about cute points?”
“You will when they whip you for being bad. Listen to me, Snoopy. The humans here are very nice. Some of the nicest humans I’ve lived with. They do everything they can to make us understand what they want. But if we misbehave, they spank us, sometimes with the whip. Just learn your lesson now. Leave the goats alone.”
Even now, I don’t know what everyone was so mad about. I thought it was fun.
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What's the zaniest thing your horse has ever done?
Oh, PS, I forgot - if you want to get a copy of Snoopy's book, here are the links:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ for the Kindle,
http://www.amazon.com/From-Horses-Mouth-Lucky-Memoir/dp/0985506067/ for the paperback.