When the goal is not to win

By Gayle Carline
Horse Owner, Author, and Non-Competitive Competitor

Last weekend, Snoopy and I went to our first horse show of the season. We were not in any shape to go, for many reasons. One is that we haven't shown since August, and neither of us were in shape, mentally or physically, to wind our way around a difficult trail course. The other reason is that Snoopy has been on lay-up since September. 

At first, it seemed that he had tweaked his left hind deep flexor tendon. Walking and meds brought him back to full mobility - briefly. Then we noticed a change. He walked, jogged, and loped to the right like he always has, but his left lead was different. It was like riding a washing machine that's off-kilter. We were worried about his back end, and about doing anything to hurt him, so the vet came back out.

It turns out, Snoopy's front feet are starting to show wear from the way he uses his back end. I guess having a fused joint, metal plate, and six screws, eventually messes with your entire body. He's on some anti-inflammatory meds, Adequan, Cosequin, and prayers, but the vet assured us that we weren't hurting him by taking him over poles, or loping on his left lead.

I wasn't planning to go to this horse show. It was in Del Mar, which is a couple of hours away from me. This meant my trainer and I had to stay in a hotel. At first, a couple of other people were going, too, then they started waffling. In the end, I decided that, expensive as it was, I wanted to go to the damned show. I had no grand illusions about winning. I wanted to go play.

He was actually dancing in the crossties.

Snoopy was as excited as I was. He had a hard time being calm in the wash rack and fairly jumped into the trailer. We ambled our way south, to the Del Mar Horse Park, and schlepped our stuff into the tack room. Niki (my trainer) longed Snoopy almost as soon as we got there. He was crazy-happy-thrilled.

We showed on Thursday and Saturday. On Thursday, the weather was perfect, the sun was shining, and our course was in the outside arena. On Saturday, rain clouds threatened, so they moved us into the covered arena. Each course had its challenges. Mostly, I was worried about Snoopy's left lead. Would I get what I asked for? Would he keep loping on that lead? When we showed last, in August, he broke on one lead or the other each day. 

My friends think he looks like a Mexican wrestler in his jammies.
(We keep his leg wrapped in the stall because it tends to swell when he stands around too long.)

The short answer is yes, for both courses. My goofy black gelding gave me everything he had, without one argument. It had never been about winning, it had been about fun, and I had a smile on my face every time we hit the show pen. We left before it was over, so I don't even know how I placed. I can be a competitive gal, so enjoying this show for the fun of it, soaking up each moment, trading stress and tension for laughter and lightheartedness, was a new experience for me.

Saturday's course. A lot of transitions - bless his heart, he did them all!

I liked it.

How much pressure do you put on yourself at a show? Or do you always go to have fun first?

What day is it? Why, it's cover reveal day!

By Gayle Carline
Horse Woman, Mystery Author, and Part-time Ditz

Wait -- what day is this? Saturday? The 11th?

Dang, I got a blog post due!

My husband retired this past November. No, he's not old enough to be thought of as a retiree (only 57), but he put in his years, we've got enough (cross your fingers) savings, so there you are. The problem with his retirement is that I'm losing track of what day it is. I don't have anyone rousing in the morning to trudge to the office, so I wake each morning in a panic, thinking, "Is this Monday? Do I have to be somewhere?"

The biggest news I have to report is that I finally have a cover design for my latest mystery, Murder on the Hoof.

For anyone out there who thinks that self-publishing is a shortcut for people who don't want to spend the quality time seeking out representation, hoping to get a publisher, then sitting back and waiting two years to see their book on the shelves, let me tell you something:

If it is, I'm doing it wrong.

In September, I completed my manuscript. So far, I've edited it myself 5 times, sent it to beta readers and incorporated their comments, sent it to my freelance editor for additional, professional editing, and worked with my cover designer.

Believe it or not, the cover's been the hardest part of this particular book. For some reason, Joe (Felipe, my cover designer whom I adore) and I could not come up with a design that worked. We started the work in November, for Pete's sake, and just kept swapping this for that for the other thing. It was much like getting dressed to go someplace a little more upscale than you usually visit - you put on an outfit, then change the top, then the bottom, then the top again, and so on until you find that combination that works.

When I opened Joe's email this week, I nearly wept. It was soooo good.

Ladies and Gents, I give to you...

Isn't lovely? I still have to write the jacket blurb, but first I have to get my editor's comments folded in. Basically, Willie Adams goes to a horse show to buy her first horse, and finds romance - and danger - instead.

My author's heart is getting really excited. My publisher's heart is saying, "Calm down. We're a long way from a release party."

In the meantime, I hope you all have a great weekend!

Showing for fun

By Gayle Carline
Author and Horse Owner

Before I tell you about our recent horse show, I'm having a special - FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: ONE LUCKY MEMOIR is only 99 cents this weekend only! Such a deal!

Snoopy and I went to our last show of the season last weekend. It was the Pink Show held in Burbank, California at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center. The Pink Show honors competitors who have survived cancer and remembers those who did not. Much fundraising is done for the City of Hope.

How was the show? First of all, it was hot. As in, dress rehearsal for Hell. It might have only been in the high 90s, but I felt like a hamster in a microwave. When you added long sleeves, suede chaps on top of jeans, and a felt hat, standing out in an uncovered arena in full sun turned us all into sweat puddles.

Black horse + Hot sun = Misery!

Snoopy was, well, Snoopy. He was happy to be at the show. Perhaps a little too happy. His body was too hot to be perky, but his brain was on Red Bull. Everything was something new to look at. Every horse was someone to whinny to.

For my part, I rode well, by following two rules:
1. I rode every obstacle (instead of defaulting to autopilot and letting Snoopy decide what to do).
2. I never took my eyes off my horse at the gate (the special Gayle rule, after Snoopy has grabbed too many gate ropes in his mouth).

Even riding well, on the first day, I managed to look away just long enough for Snoopy to shift his hip left and kick a pole. And on the second day, he got a fly on his back leg, which tormented him to the point of slamming us both into the gate. The rest of both courses were fabulous, though.

After we had both finished our classes (there were two of us from our barn showing), we packed up all the racks we had set up in the tack room, plus our saddles and clothes and stuff, then drove back to the ranch and unloaded everything.

On Monday, I collapsed.

When people asked me how the horse show was, I said, "Fun!" I spent four days in unrelenting heat, doing manual labor, riding an uber-excited horse and didn't win anything.

How can that be my idea of fun?

First of all, I love being in the middle of the show grounds. I like the sight of other people with their horses, talking to them and bonding with them. I like going out on the trail course to see if Snoopy and I can do the pattern. And I don't care about winning. I care about fun.

When Snoopy was rehabbing from his injury, I just wanted a horse that could be kept comfortable. When he was able to be ridden again, I still just wanted him to be comfortable. Now that we're showing, I'm not in it for the blue ribbons. I do it to test myself and my horse in a fun environment. And when his leg and hip are too tired, we don't do it.

My goal is to keep him as sound and healthy as he can be for as long as possible.

Do you show? What kind of goals have you set for yourself and your horse?

Horse Show Mom

I am officially a horse show mom. Yup. I wish I could be showing right along with my daughter, but as many of you know, my accident prone mare is still on stall rest from the "chip on her shoulder." Yes--silly Krissy fractured a small piece on the scapular spine and all we can do is let it heal--time, time, time (and money)--good thing I adore that mare because she seriously always has something going on with her.

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about Miss Krissy today. Today I want to talk about being horse show mom and my kid and her pony.

Monty (our pony) is really pretty special . He seems to really understand when his little girl is up on him and what his job is. However, that doesn't mean that I don't get a little nervous when she's in the show ring or now when she is out on the cross country course. I was sort of wishing she would fall in love with dressage more-so than the jumping, but, this is not the case with either the kid or the pony. They LOVE to jump.

The passion for the jumping is also where mom's nerves get a little sketchy. Monty has been known to be quite excited at the prospect of being out there on the course. I know--I've had to use a pulley rein on him a time or two out there, and so when the decision was made a little over a week ago to let the kid and pony do a one day CT, I was like, "Hmmm...really?" Terri assured me that both the kid and pony could handle it.

To be sure we took them over to Copper Meadows (where the event was being held) for a practice run a few days before the event. As I worried, Monty got a little strong and tried a shenanigan after one of the jumps, but the kid didn't let him get away with it. She brought him back quickly and confidently, and then she got mad at him. I love that this kid doesn't get scared when he gets strong. She just gets a little irritated. So, they jumped that particular question a few more times until everyone felt good about it. And then they moved on to the next section of jumps and it all ran smoothly from there.

Now the practice is one thing, but putting it all together out on course with the kid and pony on their own out there is a whole nother level of nerves, because they are out there without Terri or mom, and all I can do is watch and pray it goes well.

So, the dressage test went well, the stadium jumping went great and then it was time to go out and do the course and I was a wreck. I am sure Terri knew I was a wreck as I said a quick prayer to St. Francis. I also took Monty's sweet face in my hands and looked him the eyes and said, "You take care of your kid out there. That's your job."

Know what? That is exactly what Monty did. They were brilliant and when they come off the course I was whooping and hollering like I'd just one the lottery. It felt like I did. It was one of the best moments of my life. Silly? Maybe. But it was.

My daughter and Monty went home with a second place ribbon and she had a huge smile on her face for the next two days. Monty got extra goodies and a big kiss on the nose from his mom and his kid. I'm pretty sure Terri gave him one, too.

How about you--any horse show moms in the group? If so, do your nerves get to you when watching your kid? Or even just watching your kids ride? Or what about you, do you get nervous when you show? If so, how do you handle it?

Have a great weekend and hug a horse!

Michele

P.S. My new website is up and I hope you'll visit it at http://www.michelescott.com

Horse Crazy

It's Monday morning and I am recovering from horse show hangover--not the same as a drinking hangover, but it does feel similiar. The body aches, and I feel fatigued--but no headache or stomach issues to go with it. LOL. And, I didn't even show! But I was the water girl.

I was supposed to ride in the show--would have been my first dressage test as Krissy has done her job as a jumper and now it's time to do some low level dressage work, which I am enjoying. I'm not sure that my mare agrees because I still jump her once a week and that's when her ears prick up and she gets a little energy in her step. Anyway, we dind't get to do our test yesterday because Krissy has a puncture wound on her scapula! I swear this horse will hurt herself or get sick if the opportunity presents itself. I believe I will be putting my vet's children through college if we keep this up.

Anyway, sans the disappointment of not being able to ride, my little girl and her pony Mister Monty did have a great show. She also showed our trainer's pony--Tahoe, and did quite well. This was my daughter's first walk, trot, canter test. Let me start off by saying that I am just a little tiny bit proud of this kid who is only 8 years old. We started the day by helping our trainer feed at 5:30 in the morning and we had horses on the trailer by 6:45. My daughter's first test was at 8:12 with Monty and she wound up getting second place. The second test she did with both ponies and out of 15 in the class she took 5th and 6th places. Not too mention it was 95 degress out. She is a trooper. She helped water horses all day, check the feed bags, and hose them down when needed. I only heard a couple of complaints and that was at the end of the day.

Both of our instructors were there with their horses and their tests weren't until later in the day, so we didn't wind up back home until about 5:00. I mused at the end of the day seeing all of the riders and their horses--this sport to the common man probably makes no sense. We work our butts off, provide the best care for our animals, our lives essentially revolve around the horses. People who aren't around horses often are usually surprised when I talk about how each one has a distinct personality and can show all sorts of emotion ranging from jealousy, grief, anger, joy, and love. What equestrians are all about is the passion they have for their animals. Horses give us so much pleasure. They are truly our friends and companions. I feel blessed to have them in my life and will continue to get up at the crack of dawn to feed, clean up after and take care of them in return for all these gracious animals give back. I am happy to say that I think my youngest child agrees with me. My sons think we're crazy and I'm sure my husband feels the same way but would never voice it. However, I will be horse crazy until my last day!

Have a great week and hug a horse.

Michele

Missing the Show Season?

I've had a bit of a melancholy summer. Which is weird considering that a lot of good things have happened to my husband and me:

• We built an addition on our house, and it's beautiful.
• We both have great jobs that we love and have been fortunate enough to be doing financially well in this economy.
• My husband has renewed his relationship with his three grown children, and it's going well.

So what's wrong with me? I wish I could put a finger on it. I know part of it has to do with horses. I've been in love with horses since I was a very little girl. So life without horses isn't an option for me.

This year, I chose not to show. Am I missing the excitement and camaraderie of horse showing? Am I wandering aimlessly in my riding rather than pursuing a goal? Is that such a bad thing? All of my friends are off to horse shows, while I stay home. I rarely ride my mare, maybe once or twice a week. That's not much for me. I still take lessons, and they're going amazingly well considering how little I do ride.

All these great plans I had for my life, all the things I wanted to do but didn't do, are starting to catch up with me. Many of them have to do with horses. I always thought I'd get my dressage medals. Yet, I'm not even close to getting my Bronze, let alone silver or gold.

On top of that I miss the friendships. I met most of my dearest friends through horses. Anymore it seems as if I go to the barn, ride, and leave, without really socializing with anyone, and I'm a social person. One of the reasons I board my horse is because of the people at the barn.

So here I am, wondering where to go from here. Should I bring the horse home and buy a nice Quarter Horse for my husband and ride into the sunset? Should I attempt to make a new commitment to my riding? Do I ever really want to go through the stress of showing?

I wish someone could give me the answers, but I know that I'm the only one who can do that. I appreciate everyone's patience as I struggle to make sense of whether or not showing is in my future. It seems as if this issue has been the subject of all my posts lately.

Have any of you quit showing and found horse activities to replace it? Do any of you keep riding and taking lessons to pursue a goal unrelated to ribbons and points?

Conrad Follow-up

I apologize for my post being so late tonight. I just got home from a weekend away.

I hope everyone enjoyed my posts on Conrad Schumacher. Now, a few months later, I find that this clinic has had a profound effect on my riding life. My trainer pointed out during my last lesson that I’d actually taken when I’d learned and utilized it in a productive way. My mare is no longer blowing through my half-halts. She’s actually listening more and sitting on her haunches rather than falling on her forehand and going faster.

Since I now have half-halts, suddenly everything is coming together. My mare is more forward, more obedient, and more willing. Thanks to good shoeing and better riding, she’s been sound for over a year. I’m pretty excited about that.

Regardless, I decided not to show her, at least not this year. Like many Americans, my limited expendable income is not well spent on $500-a-show entry fees, not to mention the other incidental expenses.

I’m wondering how many of you are feeling the pinch of the economy? How have you cut back? Have those expensive little ribbons become less important? Has your relationship with your horse become more important?

I’m enjoying my horse more than I ever have in the eleven years I’ve owned her. I miss the barn camaraderie at the shows, but I don’t miss the showing itself. I’m sure if I’d done better at it, I’d probably have a different opinion of its importance in my life.

Oddly enough, the shows in my area are still filling up. In some ways, I’m shocked, considering the economy. I suspect entrants are going without to pay those fees. As long as that happens, show fees will increase and no alternatives will be explored. Not to say that I’m indifferent to the problems that plague show organizers. Nor do I think they’re getting rich holding horse shows. Organizing horse shows has become a business. When I first started in dressage, everyone was a volunteer, no one was paid. Administrative costs were minimal. No more. Demands made by organizations for recordkeeping have made the costs go up and have required the hiring of show managers and secretaries.

Does all this mean I’ll never show again? Probably not. I find I’m more inclined to ride on a regular basis when I have something to work toward. Besides, I know my mare and I are vastly improved from a year ago when we last stepped foot in the show ring. So never say never, I may well be joining the ranks again next year.

Last Thursday several people at my barn were loading up trailers to head to a three-day show. To be honest, I didn’t wish I was going. In fact, I recently sold my camper, which means if I do show again, I’m back to staying in a hotel. It was my way of saying that I’m done doing this on a regular basis.

So stay tuned because heaven knows I could change my mind again. I’ll let you know.

To Show or not to Show

Subtitled: Just when I thought I had it all figured out.

A had another good lesson last week. Gailey is as sound as she's been in a long while. We're both having fun, things are going well, and oh, no, here it comes again. Out of the mouth of my trainer: "How many scores do you need for that USDF medal? Have you considered showing this horse again? This is the soundest I've seen her in a while."

That dreaded four-letter word. You know the one.

SHOW.

Yup. That's the one.

It's expensive, nerve-wracking, at times demoralizing, and other times a heck of a lot of fun. Why I'm entertaining the thought of doing this again, I swear I should be smacked up the side of the head.

I'm no good a horse shows. I suck in fact. And by sucking, I get embarassingly low scores and suffer the pitying looks of my barn friends. Why would I consider putting myself through this again. Last year, I swore was my last show. My fragile self-confidence can't handle the whispers and comments behind my back or even worse, to my face. Such as, she can't ride that horse. She needs to get a different horse. I could ride that horse much better than her.

I know what you're thinking: Oh, she has show nerves. Man, I wish it was that simple. The truth is I don't, exactly, not really, not like many people. I sleep fine the night before a show. I don't get butterflies when I ride into the ring. I don't have problems eating (unfortunately) before a show. I can remember my tests. So what is it?

If I knew that, this wouldn't be such a delimma to me. I just don't ride tests well. And my mare, for all her talent, doesn't show well. She tries too hard, over compensates, second-guesses me, memorizes the tests, then gets mad if I don't ride the test she's doing in her head.

Okay, well, I should be able to solve that, right? I wish. For some reason, when I get in a show ring, I lose my judgment (I know what you're thinking--Ah, ha! She does get show nerves.). I ride the tests pretty accurately, I just can't seem to get a good handle on whether or not the horse is forward enough, round enough, through enough. My subconscious tries to send me signals, but my conscious mind ignores them.

My trainer and I have also come to the conclusion that I am often saddled with reverse prejudice. What's that? Well, in dressage there's a lot of talk about non-traditional dressage breeds facing breed prejudice in scoring. In my case it's the opposite problem, the judge sees this big beautiful mare floating around the outside of the arena, and thinks what a lovely mare (truthfully, I can't tell you how many times, they've also told me that as I ride by before my test starts), As soon as we enter at A it all goes to H@#$ in a handbasket. I stiffen (okay, I know, show nerves), she stiffens. I hang with my hands, she opens her mouth and pulls. Her head goes up, she plows on her forehand and speeds up.

Meanwhile, the judge's expression has gone from one of expectation to looking like she's swallowed a lemon.

I swore after the last two years, I'd never put myself through this again. I spent more time hiding in my horse trailer or camper and crying than I did having fun. This is supposed to be fun, right?

But...

I really want that medal. I've done this for too long not to get one lousy little medal. Okay, I could borrow a friend's upper-level horse, zip through the tests, and be done with it. But I really want it with my horse, the horse I bought as a baby.

What am I getting myself into? Is it really worth it?

I'm not sure. Those trails behind my house are beckoning to me, but so is that medal. What should I do?

Sometimes I wonder...

...why I do this--Horse showing, that is.

Let's start with the obvious reason why I'm questioning what I want to do. Money. Horse showing is getting more and more expensive. Dressage was once a poor man's sport in this area that you could do on any old backyard horse. Now it's getting to be more and more of an elitist sport. With the cost of gas, entry fees, stabling fees, show fees, etc., the average amateur is being priced right out of the sport.

Then there's the huge amount of work it takes to get ready for 6 minutes in the show ring. I spent the majority of yesterday getting ready for a horse show next weekend. I pulled my trailer out of its parking spot wedged in between several fir trees. It's covered in green slime and moss. So far I've cleaned one side, which involves standing on a ladder and scrubbing it with a scrub brush and warm water, and I've loaded all my show stuff. Then I had to clean the camper and load it. Now all this work doesn't even involve the work needed to get the horse ready.

Today, I clip my mare and hop on to see if she's sound. That brings up the other reason why I wonder how much longer I want to do this.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time and money on my beloved mare. I swear, every show season she decides to go lame. So I've been trying to find out what the problem is and if it can be rectified. The way that she's built behind gives you an incredibly smooth ride but isn't conducive to long-term soundness.

Her questionable soundess has been forced me do a lot of soul searching. How much longer do I really want to do this?

I'm not sure I can answer that right now, but this year will be my deciding year. I'm trying to get my writing career off the ground. Juggling that with working full-time and riding and showing a dressage horse is taxing to say the least.

Sometimes, I think that people get into showing to a point where they forget why they were attracted to horses in the first place. No is nothing more enjoyable to me than a relaxing ride through the woods on a sunny day, the sound of horses munching hay in their stalls in the evening, or watching a horse grazing in the pasture. It's the little things that make me love horses, not the ribbons or the scores.

And I do love this mare. I've had her since she was 3, and she's now 13. Dressage is hard on a horse's hind end. Gailey is an incredible mover, but she's developing the early stages of arthritis. I have no intention of showing her until she breaks down. All of her full siblings have broken down and are unrideable. She's the oldest and the smallest (at 17-1), and the only one still under saddle to my knowledge. I feel pretty good about that. Big horses have a tendency to break down sooner than smaller horses.

If she isn't sound enough to show, it doesn't matter. She will always have a home with me. I admit that I'm fortunate that I have a barn and three acres where she'll retire someday.

If and when that happens, I'll have to answer the question: Do I want to get another show horse or do I just want to enjoy horses for being horses?

So I've given you a lot of negatives as to why I'm questioning my decision to show, next time I post I'll cover the other side of the story and give all the reason why I do show.

Take care and have a lovely Father's Day

This is a big week for my seven-year-old little girl Kaitlin. Next Sunday is her first horse show. Well, sort of. Last October she did a fun Halloween show which was just doing various games, but this one on Sunday is the real deal with the hunt coat and the braids and everything that goes along with it (like getting up at the crack of dawn, rushing to the stable to wait around for hours). I remember what that was like. All week I would anticipate and ride my horse. Friday night I'd shine my tack and boots. Saturday was all about grooming the horse and when Sunday would arrive I'd be ready to go and out the door as the sun came up.

This past weekend Kaitlin's trainer had a tack cleaning party and all the girls got together and cleaned the good tack. They shared snacks and grazed their horses. It's so great to see a group of girls doing what they love more than anything in the world. Already at 7 & 8 years old a passion has been formed and this will stick with them forevor. I almost get choked up thinking about the love for the animal and the bond created between horse and rider. To have my little girl experience this and enjoy it has probably been one of the biggest thrills for me.

I have three children and my sons are teenagers now. For years I tried to get them interested in horses and with no takers. So to finally get a kid who loves them like I do has been a dream come true. I may still get one of the guys interested. There's a 16 year old girl at our stable that he saw and she is really pretty. Now he wants to come out and see his sister ride. Sure! I just laughed at him.

But back to the horse show. My fingers are crossed my daughter has the best time of her life and I will be taking lots of pictures because you're first show only happens once.

Cheers,
Michele